I absolutely love being a mother. Landon has been such an awesome child so far and I've been very blessed to have such a happy, relatively easy baby. We've definitely had rough patches during things like teething, and Landon was a bad sleeper for most of his first year of life, but overall, I have a pretty laid-back, happy boy. He's just the best and I love that I get to hang out with him all day every day. I've told people that if I knew all of my kids would have Landon's temperament, I'd have a ton more. That's of course not guaranteed though and every child is different.
I have never had the desire to have my kids close in age. I'm almost 4 years older than one of my brothers, and almost 6 years older than the other brother. Obviously growing up my 2 brothers were closer to each other than they were to me. They're both boys and only 2 years apart. Even now they have a lot of the same friends and stuff, but I feel now that we're all over 21 the age difference doesn't matter at all anymore. I was close to my brothers growing up, but I'd say I'm a lot closer to them now.
People have asked me when we will have another baby, and the answer is not any time soon. Jeff and I are adamant that we will not try for another baby until Landon is 3. We want a 4 year age gap give or take a few months. This way our kids won't be in college at the same time, and it's just what will work best for us. Landon will be old enough to help me a little bit if needed and he'll understand what's going on more. He'll be in preschool a few days a week, so I'll have time to be just with the new baby, and Landon will be potty trained and able to play alone for awhile if I'm busy with the baby. I have time on my side because I had Landon at 26. I will be 29 when we try again, and 30 when I deliver most likely. I could have 3 kids before 35 if I wanted to.
I know that I am not ready for another child any time soon, even though Landon is so awesome and I love him more than I can say. We have a good routine going and I don't want it to change right now. If I were to get pregnant accidentally (not likely, but there's always a chance) I would honestly be very upset. Of course I'd get over it and welcome and love that child as much as I love Landon, but it's not in our immediate plans. The thought of another child right now seriously terrifies me. I don't know how people handle 2 or 3 small children, but I know that's really the norm. It's just not right for us. People keep telling us that once Landon hits 18 months we will want another baby. I don't see our minds magically changing in 5 months. I've asked Jeff if when he sees a newborn baby does it make him want another one yet and he said no. I feel the same way. I love newborns, I will love on and snuggle my friends' new babies and there's definitely things I miss about Landon at that age, but there's a lot of things I don't miss to be honest. Newborns are so much work, breastfeeding is a huge commitment that I want to make again, and I just don't know how on Earth I'd be able to do it all over again so soon. I will say that I do miss being pregnant a lot though and seeing pregnancy announcements and cute baby bellies makes me want to do it all over again, just not now! It's weird to think about the fact that several of the girls I was pregnant with the first time around are either pregnant again or trying and I'm nowhere near doing it again.
Before I had a baby I used to say that I wanted like 4 kids. Now I think 2 is a nice number. If the next baby is a boy, we will discuss the idea of a possible 3rd baby when the second child is 3. Yea, we'd go for that same 4 year gap again IF we went for baby #3. If the next baby is a girl, no discussion needed because we're done. The more I think about it, I would be thrilled with 2 boys (and I secretly want another boy so badly). I don't HAVE to have a daughter to feel that our family is complete, but of course I'd be so thrilled with a girl. We'll see how I feel after a second child though. 3 is our absolute limit no matter what. Kids are way more work than I thought and I don't know how people have a lot of them. They have my utmost respect though and if that's what they want, more power to them.
I'd be lying if I said there were never times when I think that I'm so lucky to have Landon and he's just wonderful, so why try for another? At the end of the day though, I do want at least 1 more child. I want Landon to have a sibling and I want to be pregnant again and have a sweet newborn to snuggle. I'd be sad if that never happened, but I do feel so very fortunate to have 1 child. I know there are women out there, possibly who read this blog, who are dealing with infertility and want a child so badly and I pray for all of them every night. I know how lucky I am and I hope this post doesn't come off as insensitive. If it does, I am truly sorry because that's not my intent at all.
What about the rest of you? When do you want another child? Am I alone in my desire to have my kids further apart in age? How many kids do you want?
8 comments:
I know exactly how you feel! It's hard to say when the right time is to try for another baby, but it sounds like you guys have a great plan in mind. :)
I don't know much about kids and am not around any that frequently, but from what I do see I totally am on your side with having kids further apart! My boyfriend's friend has two kids under 4 and I don't know how they do it. Every time we get together you need two adults watching them at all times because they go running in different directions!
I don't have any children right now (as you already know, haha) but I only want 2. I just think that it is the perfect age. I want my children 3 years apart if I can help it.
But I think that your reasoning is right on! No need to rush anything. And I love the idea of both kids not being in college at the same time. Such smart thinking :)
I think you guys have a wonderful plan in the works! Children are ALOT of work, like you said, so spacing them is always helpful! And the idea of having one in College at a time is a smart idea! For many reasons! People started asking us immediately after Rosemary was born when we would have another- lol. I said, "never again". But by 6 months I felt baby fever BAD. Drew had baby fever immediately after Rosemary was born, like the day she was born. But we knew we wouldn't try again until she was almost 1, for breastfeeding. It's so hard to know if we will have more due to my ovaries, but right now we both want another baby or two in the future. Maybe more spread out, though.
You are alot like me with the secretly wanting another boy- I secretly thought another girl would be fun, but I think I may have just felt comfort in another girl since a boy is something new. They are both so wonderful- boys, girls, one of each- a family can be complete with any mixture! I know you guys will enjoy this time with your Son and just love on him and have a blast!
We are done, done :) There are 4 years between me and my two sisters (so 8 b/t me & the youngest.) Once I went to college our relationships were pretty non-existent and it's only been in the last 5 years or so that my middle sister and I have gotten close. I wanted to have my children closer together so they would have more of a chance to be real "friends." I know it's not for everyone & it's VERY hard right now with two littles, but it works for us!
I feel very similarly. I want our kids about 2.5 to 3 years apart. Mostly, this is because I so enjoy learning about stages and informing myself on what is going on with my baby, and I'd love to have only one baby in diapers. Plus, I'm more excited for our first to be able to know about another baby and make it a family affair :) Also, agreed on the BFing. Huge commitment!
I'm with you! I never really had that "moment" where we KNEW it was the right time to get pregnant, ha! But we knew we wanted kids and the time seemed as good as it was gonna get. As for baby #2. We definitely want another one. Or at least my husband does;) But it'll be a good 2 years yet:)
This post kind of helped. I was having a tough day with another round of pregnancy announcements. I just have to trust God's plan and figure it will only be easier for me whenever we are blessed with another pregnancy.
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